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Hitting a woman [message #419580] Wed, 10 February 2010 01:54 Go to next message
GEORGE ZIMMER is currently offline  GEORGE ZIMMER
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So in most Western parts of the world, a man hitting a woman is considered extremely taboo- to the point where the woman can easily claim "he hit me!" and he'll be investigated out the ass for it. Obviously, wife abuse and such are terrible crimes to commit no matter what, but where do you guys think the line is drawn?

To me, if it's in self defense and they outright antagonized a fight, I don't think it's bad. Women want equal rights- this is as equal as you're going to get, to be honest.


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Re: Hitting a woman [message #419583 is a reply to message #419580] Wed, 10 February 2010 03:00 Go to previous messageGo to next message
reborn is currently offline  reborn
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I'm of the mind that if someone starts a fight with you, then it should be fine for you to knock them un-conscious, or beat them until they stop/run away. By hitting you, in my book they've let themselves open for a good ass-kicking. In my book, self defense is the least you should be able to exercise, a good old fashioned can of whoop-ass. If that's a female or male is irrelevant.

While this is how I feel on the matter, I wouldn't hit a woman, not because of high moral standing, but because I'd be in so much trouble and it really wont accomplish much.
Women cry and play a better victim, even if a woman hit me, even if she landed several punches, I would still somehow end up being the agrressor. I'm Six foot Seven inches tall, and heavy set, so anyone reviewing the situation will see me as the bad guy. It's unfair and an injustice, but that's the world. Plus, if this was in public and a guy saw you hit her, then he/they would most likely get their hero cape out and beat you silly, despite the woman being the instigator.

If possible, I wouldn't hit a man either. While I feel it might be deserved, it wont get you anywhere but trouble, plus deep down, fighting for me doesn't feel good or right. I'm not frightened to be in a fight, and have been in several in my life, but they don't make me feel good. I feel that pulsing feeling in my wrists and heart, and I don't like it, like I know I'm about to do something that's wrong. It makes me feel like a child again somehow.

The following is a true story, and while not about hitting a woman, I guess is kinda relevant, plus typing this will let me vent in a safe outlet.


At the very beginning of December half of my department went to a work function. This function was for all the service departments of the company, but members of the company didn't attend (all service departments are contractors) for all but those organising it for us.

My departments contract was up for renewal, and the contract manager has been stressing for us to be awesome at everything we do, incase it gives reason for our contract not to be renewed.
There was free food and booze at the evening and some in my department was drinking more than others...

Two guys won a bottle of Barcardi rum in a raffle. They said they didn;t like it, but because they was so drunk already, they poured a wine glass 3/4 full of it, then added red wine to it, and larger too. One of them downed this drink in its entirety in One gulp. This should give you an indication of how drunk they was, and what sort of state they was in. My contract manager was there for all of this on the same table as them (I was on a diff table with people that are not like that).

At the end of the evening we was all leaving. My contract manager left first, and told my boss to keep an eye on the guy that had downed the drink, saying he was pissed and to watch him.
Everyone was getting their coats on and leaving, but the guy that was drinking really badly just sat there looking at the floor.
I went over to him and asked if he was alright. He stood up, and punched me in the face. He drew his arm back and went to hit me again, but I stuck my hand out to stop him. My hand caught his nose and it gave him a nose bleed.

After this, he sort of came to a bit and realised what he had done. He apologised and offered his hand to shake mine.
I shook his hand, but didn't really want to to be honest, I had done nothing to him but was looking out for him.
I ased him why he had hit me, but he just stood there with his bleeding nose looking dumb.
I went and got him some tissues for his nose, and came back within a minute.
When I got back, his mate saw his bloody nose and then started shouting at me "I'll give you a fight you wanna fight, you lanky mean lady, come ont hen you mean lady, i'll fucking do'ya" etc etc.
My boss held him back as did another work mate. I was explaining that it was self defense, but he didn't want to hear it. My boss said it would be better of I walked round the corner out of his site, which I did willingly...

The next day at work I reported this to my manager.

The asked for witness statements and held an investagatory meeting, where I told them exactly what happened, and while the guy did have a bleeding nose, I didn't punch him, I was defending myself from being hit again. And also, that the contract manager, who was obviously aware of the dudes state, just left. Had he not of abandoned his responsibility and instead asked the guy to leave, this would not of happened.

So after the investigation, they decided to take all Three of us through the disciplinary procedure. I wasn't surprised, my compant sucks ass at defending individual employee's, even though I was a victim and reported it as such.

After the disciplinary meeting (glad I had my trade union there with me), I got a final written warning, and was made to feel lucky to not lose my job. Employment law is such, that any violence, even self defense is gross mis-conduct, and you can be sacked for it.

What a fucking disgrace! I've been there for over Ten years, never had a bad note on my file. I go to a work function and some asshole gets pissed out of his face, tries to beat me up for no reason at all other than him being pissed, I try to stop him and get a final written warning for it.
Officially I don't know what the other Two got, but they're still here, so I can only assume they got the same.

I can't believe how I was treated. Although not the same, it kinda makes me feel like that woman who was jailed when reporting a rape.
I got the exact same as the other Two, how shit is that?!
It wasn;t like I though "Oh hey, this dude hit me, so I can knock seven bags of shit out of him!", I just stopped him from hitting me.

I'm going to get my paternity leave rom the company, as that's only a couple of months off, make sure I stay to get my bonus, then get another job. What a load of fucking bullshit. You can't defend yourself without being treated like a criminal. What should I have done, stood there until his fists got tired of punching my face?

I guess my point is that while you may think it's ok, or have soem moral right to punch someone back, it seems that in the eyes of your employer and the law, you don't. You have to be a total victim, and even then, it's probably your own fault somehow.



Re: Hitting a woman [message #419587 is a reply to message #419580] Wed, 10 February 2010 08:57 Go to previous messageGo to next message
ChewML is currently offline  ChewML
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I know it is a lil bit different when it is brother and sister fighting...

But one day I went to my friends apartment and knocked on the door. I heard him and his sister yelling at each, which was common especially for them two. But he opened the door because he knew it was me coming over. And then they continued to argue, she started getting right in his face. I think she was really pushing it now to try and make him look bad or show off because I was there now.

She kept yelling, "HIT ME PUSSY, DO IT BITCH!"...

Finally outta nowhere he just right hooks her in her face...

Ofcourse her response is, "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU JUST FUCKING HIT ME!?!?"...

I couldn't believe it either at first, because it just happened so fast, lols. But I don't blame him at all, even if it hadn't been his sister... She litterly asked for it.

Another story about a husband and wife...

I was at another friend's apartment watching a movie one night. I was sitting on the couch with 2 other people, and my buddy and his wife are laying in front of the TV on some blankets. My buddy had been drinking a lil bit that night, but it wasn't like a depressed alcholic drinking (for the record).

His wife was cool most of the time, but sometimes she just wanted to start shit and make him miserable for no known reason. She looks back at us on the couch and basically says, "watch this". She started trying to bug my friend while he was almost passed out. I can't even remember exactly what she was doing, but I know she was trying to get a rise outta him. All I really remember was my buddy finally rolling over and swinging at the same time. He hit her in the face, I just stood up and said, "yep, that is my Q to leave"...

I didn't wanna even try to side on that one since he was drunk, and she was being dumb. I don't really agree with either on that one.

Ofcourse I wouldn't agree if you went out and got drunk every night and then went home and beat your girl because you are broke...
Re: Hitting a woman [message #419593 is a reply to message #419580] Wed, 10 February 2010 11:31 Go to previous messageGo to next message
slosha is currently offline  slosha
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I think there's a time and place for most things, but I don't like the idea of hitting a woman at all. I would rather try to restrain them before resorting to physical violence. I cannot think of any situation where I would need to hit a woman before trying to restrain them.

My father beat my sister and mother once or twice and I just could not believe it. Once something like that happens, somebody needs to leave immediately. Violence within a home is something that should never happen, especially against a woman.


The road I cruise is a bitch now, baby.
Re: Hitting a woman [message #419594 is a reply to message #419580] Wed, 10 February 2010 11:40 Go to previous messageGo to next message
CarrierII is currently offline  CarrierII
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But why should it not happen against a woman? (Besides the cultural precedent)

Do not get me wrong, I have several friends who've been the victim of domestic abuse, but I've also known women who, bluntly, were very dangereous, so I could've easily been in a situation where I'd have been attacked.



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Re: Hitting a woman [message #419597 is a reply to message #419593] Wed, 10 February 2010 11:56 Go to previous messageGo to next message
reborn is currently offline  reborn
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Glock~ wrote on Wed, 10 February 2010 13:31

especially against a woman.



I agree with the sentiment about no violence at home. Domestic violence is something no one should have to burden. However, why especially a woman?

Is it offensive to suggest:
Women are less capable then men?
A women is inferior to a man?
Women should not be respected equally as men?
Female opinion on a matter doesn't count as much as a mans?
Men are more intelligent then females?

Most here would consider this offensive, and chauvanistic. So surely if this attitude of believing men are better is wrong, then women should be treated the same as males when it comes to a smack in the mouth?
If you have reason to strike a man, why would you not strike a women under the same circumstance? Are the inferior? Are they less than a man? Surely it's a chauvanist pig that wouldn't punch them?



[Updated on: Wed, 10 February 2010 11:58]

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Re: Hitting a woman [message #419600 is a reply to message #419580] Wed, 10 February 2010 12:45 Go to previous messageGo to next message
slosha is currently offline  slosha
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I do not mean, in any way, that men are superior to women. I just believe that women should be treated with a greater deal of respect because that is just how I was raised up.

The road I cruise is a bitch now, baby.
Re: Hitting a woman [message #419604 is a reply to message #419600] Wed, 10 February 2010 14:07 Go to previous messageGo to next message
reborn is currently offline  reborn
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Glock~ wrote on Wed, 10 February 2010 14:45

I do not mean, in any way, that men are superior to women. I just believe that women should be treated with a greater deal of respect because that is just how I was raised up.


You're a sexist pig then! Why should women get more respect than men?



[Updated on: Wed, 10 February 2010 14:07]

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Re: Hitting a woman [message #419606 is a reply to message #419604] Wed, 10 February 2010 14:51 Go to previous messageGo to next message
slosha is currently offline  slosha
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reborn wrote on Wed, 10 February 2010 15:07

Glock~ wrote on Wed, 10 February 2010 14:45

I do not mean, in any way, that men are superior to women. I just believe that women should be treated with a greater deal of respect because that is just how I was raised up.


You're a sexist pig then! Why should women get more respect than men?


I'm not saying they should. It's just how I feel and act towards them. If you feel you have the right to hit a woman, go for it. I would not act in the same way because I don't like hitting women. I do not feel this way out of feeling superior. I feel that because they are the opposite sex, they deserve more respect than another male, and I expect the same in return, respect towards myself. I would feel more comfortable hitting a guy or saying nasty things to a guy because they are of my own kind, and they are more understanding of how I think. A woman may not understand my intentions because female minds work differently due to a different balance in hormones.

You could also reply to this post saying I am sexist, but I will come back with the same argument: I feel this way because they are the opposite sex, and I would like to present myself as a respectable person, so I would not resort to violence in any given dispute.

Think of it like this. Two males fighting for companionship with a single female. One male is kind, loving, and has a calm temper. They other, however, is hot-headed and doesn't have as much self-control as the other. The female would obviously be more attracted to the nicer male.

Now take that situation and reverse it. I would personally prefer a woman that does not like to use violence as a way of intimidation and getting her way. I would rather have a woman that would be able to express how she feels in words.

That's pretty much how I mean what I am saying.


The road I cruise is a bitch now, baby.
Re: Hitting a woman [message #419610 is a reply to message #419580] Wed, 10 February 2010 15:17 Go to previous messageGo to next message
CarrierII is currently offline  CarrierII
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I see where you're coming from and I try to avoid violence whereever possible but what if I was attacked by one of the aforementioned dangereous women?


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Re: Hitting a woman [message #419616 is a reply to message #419610] Wed, 10 February 2010 15:50 Go to previous messageGo to next message
IAmFenix is currently offline  IAmFenix
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CarrierII wrote on Wed, 10 February 2010 16:17

I see where you're coming from and I try to avoid violence whereever possible but what if I was attacked by one of the aforementioned dangereous women?


+1 agree

I think that people should recognize that if you were hit first, you are merely defending yourself, unless you requested it by say "just try and hit me (obscene language here)!".


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Re: Hitting a woman [message #419617 is a reply to message #419616] Wed, 10 February 2010 16:08 Go to previous messageGo to next message
HaTe is currently offline  HaTe
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Why treat women with greater legal respect than men? Treat them the same, women fought for their rights to be equal, not superior. Why make it more than it is?

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Re: Hitting a woman [message #419618 is a reply to message #419617] Wed, 10 February 2010 16:09 Go to previous messageGo to next message
slosha is currently offline  slosha
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HaTe wrote on Wed, 10 February 2010 17:08

Why treat women with greater legal respect than men? Treat them the same, women fought for their rights to be equal, not superior. Why make it more than it is?

I never said anything about legality.


The road I cruise is a bitch now, baby.
Re: Hitting a woman [message #419619 is a reply to message #419618] Wed, 10 February 2010 16:12 Go to previous messageGo to next message
HaTe is currently offline  HaTe
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I never said i was talking to you. The topic starter mentioned a few things to lead me to believe the topic was about legality, more or less.

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Re: Hitting a woman [message #419620 is a reply to message #419580] Wed, 10 February 2010 16:23 Go to previous messageGo to next message
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[Updated on: Wed, 10 February 2010 16:23]

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Re: Hitting a woman [message #419624 is a reply to message #419580] Wed, 10 February 2010 16:43 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Rocko
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women are weaker than men both physically and mentally so they deserve the utmost respect possible, i would never lay my hand on a woman unless it's sexual and she axed for it.

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Re: Hitting a woman [message #419626 is a reply to message #419624] Wed, 10 February 2010 17:00 Go to previous messageGo to next message
HaTe is currently offline  HaTe
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Most women*, and I agree with you, but they should get the same legal punishment if they abuse a man, as if a man abuses them, imo (assuming same injuries, same actions, etc.). If a women is just as hurt as a man, i see no reason for the women to get the benefit of the doubt, or be favored.

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Re: Hitting a woman [message #419627 is a reply to message #419619] Wed, 10 February 2010 17:01 Go to previous messageGo to next message
slosha is currently offline  slosha
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HaTe wrote on Wed, 10 February 2010 17:12

I never said i was talking to you. The topic starter mentioned a few things to lead me to believe the topic was about legality, more or less.

Oh, my bad. Razz

Rocko wrote on Wed, 10 February 2010 17:43

women are weaker than men both physically and mentally so they deserve the utmost respect possible, i would never lay my hand on a woman unless it's sexual and she axed for it.

I lol'd. Fail.


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Re: Hitting a woman [message #419629 is a reply to message #419627] Wed, 10 February 2010 17:11 Go to previous messageGo to next message
HaTe is currently offline  HaTe
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@DRNG:
I'll raise you a Chris Brown.
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Re: Hitting a woman [message #419631 is a reply to message #419580] Wed, 10 February 2010 17:55 Go to previous messageGo to next message
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Dick Masterson > Chris Brown any day.
Re: Hitting a woman [message #419633 is a reply to message #419631] Wed, 10 February 2010 18:02 Go to previous messageGo to next message
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They both suck.

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Re: Hitting a woman [message #419648 is a reply to message #419594] Wed, 10 February 2010 20:42 Go to previous messageGo to next message
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CarrierII wrote on Wed, 10 February 2010 12:40

Do not get me wrong, I have several friends who've been the victim of domestic abuse, but I've also known women who, bluntly, were very dangerous, so I could've easily been in a situation where I'd have been sat on and had my bones obliterated by the sheer mass.

Huh


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Re: Hitting a woman [message #419650 is a reply to message #419580] Wed, 10 February 2010 20:50 Go to previous messageGo to next message
ChewML is currently offline  ChewML
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Ike Turner...
Re: Hitting a woman [message #419655 is a reply to message #419606] Wed, 10 February 2010 23:40 Go to previous messageGo to next message
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Glock~ wrote on Wed, 10 February 2010 16:51


I'm not saying they should. It's just how I feel and act towards them.


So you recognise that the attitude is not right, but that's how you feel anyway?

Glock~ wrote on Wed, 10 February 2010 16:51


If you feel you have the right to hit a woman, go for it.



I didn't say it was my right, I said why would you act differently if it was a woman.

Glock~ wrote on Wed, 10 February 2010 16:51


I would not act in the same way because I don't like hitting women. I do not feel this way out of feeling superior. I feel that because they are the opposite sex, they deserve more respect than another male


Think of it like this...
Years ago, women didn't receive the same pay as a male doing the same job. They couldn't get top jobs due to glass ceilings, and they had less rights then males. Men was treated with more respect than females.
This clearly isn't right, women need to be treated equally to men.
You're saying because they are the opposite sex you respect them more. That's the same attitude women had back in those dark ages, and look at the position they was in.
Just as you shouldn't treat a woman with less respect than a man, you should not treat women with more respect either, because it follows that you treat men with less respect.
Armed with you attitude, imagine if your job was an interviewer for an employment agency.

Glock~ wrote on Wed, 10 February 2010 16:51


and I expect the same in return, respect towards myself.



The same in return, being more respect? Or the same amount they give other women?

Glock~ wrote on Wed, 10 February 2010 16:51


I would feel more comfortable hitting a guy or saying nasty things to a guy because they are of my own kind, and they are more understanding of how I think. A woman may not understand my intentions because female minds work differently due to a different balance in hormones.



Women do not like it when you blame shit on their hormones. You're saying you have respect for women, more so even than other men. However, you disrespect them with this attitude, even though your intentions are clearly good.

Glock~ wrote on Wed, 10 February 2010 16:51


You could also reply to this post saying I am sexist, but I will come back with the same argument: I feel this way because they are the opposite sex, and I would like to present myself as a respectable person, so I would not resort to violence in any given dispute.



I believe you are a sexist really. Only it wont please either side. You say you have more respect for women, therefore you're chauvanistic, but not in the typical sense. You're like the repressed women working as a typist getting her ass slapped by men, and believing they deserve more respect. Women of this attitude where hated by women's libber's, they was self defeating.

Glock~ wrote on Wed, 10 February 2010 16:51


Think of it like this. Two males fighting for companionship with a single female. One male is kind, loving, and has a calm temper. They other, however, is hot-headed and doesn't have as much self-control as the other. The female would obviously be more attracted to the nicer male.



That's making a huge assumption, but lets say you're right. You're bending the arguement. In your scenario you just implied the hot headed guy was the guy that believed defending himself against a women is the hot headed one. Defending yourself doesn't mean you're hot headed.

Glock~ wrote on Wed, 10 February 2010 16:51


Now take that situation and reverse it. I would personally prefer a woman that does not like to use violence as a way of intimidation and getting her way. I would rather have a woman that would be able to express how she feels in words.

That's pretty much how I mean what I am saying.

[/quote]

You would prefer a women that when confronted with physical violence and was being beat in the face by a man, her reaction would be to stand there and explain her feelings? She should stand there and take the beating while she calmly tries to explain things? That's all well and good if you want a punch bag, but I would prefer my wife to not be hurt.
There is a time for action.



Re: Hitting a woman [message #419657 is a reply to message #419655] Thu, 11 February 2010 00:34 Go to previous messageGo to previous message
slosha is currently offline  slosha
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reborn wrote on Thu, 11 February 2010 00:40


So you recognise that the attitude is not right, but that's how you feel anyway?

I meant that is not the way YOU have to feel.

reborn wrote on Thu, 11 February 2010 00:40


I didn't say it was my right, I said why would you act differently if it was a woman.

Because I am in it to build a reputation that I don't abuse my significant other. Like you explained in your story, not everybody would feel that I was acting in self defense, and I would like to avoid that.

reborn wrote on Thu, 11 February 2010 00:40


Think of it like this...
Years ago, women didn't receive the same pay as a male doing the same job. They couldn't get top jobs due to glass ceilings, and they had less rights then males. Men was treated with more respect than females.
This clearly isn't right, women need to be treated equally to men.
You're saying because they are the opposite sex you respect them more. That's the same attitude women had back in those dark ages, and look at the position they was in.
Just as you shouldn't treat a woman with less respect than a man, you should not treat women with more respect either, because it follows that you treat men with less respect.
Armed with you attitude, imagine if your job was an interviewer for an employment agency.

Yes, I recognize that they were not treated as equals in the workforce. However, this isn't about working rights, we're talking about violence here. I do believe in equality in the workforce, and I also think that actions taken to even it out, in-turn shafting the men, is wrong.

reborn wrote on Thu, 11 February 2010 00:40


The same in return, being more respect? Or the same amount they give other women?

I just meant respect in general. Not necessarily more than they treat their same sex because they may have different views that me. My opinions only apply to myself, and I do not expect anyone to view it the exact same way, although I do expect to be treated fairly.

reborn wrote on Thu, 11 February 2010 00:40


Women do not like it when you blame shit on their hormones. You're saying you have respect for women, more so even than other men. However, you disrespect them with this attitude, even though your intentions are clearly good.

But isn't it the truth? Estrogen and testosterone cause a person to act differently? If not, then I take what I said back.

reborn wrote on Thu, 11 February 2010 00:40


I believe you are a sexist really. Only it wont please either side. You say you have more respect for women, therefore you're chauvanistic, but not in the typical sense. You're like the repressed women working as a typist getting her ass slapped by men, and believing they deserve more respect. Women of this attitude where hated by women's libber's, they was self defeating.

Maybe it is sexist, however, it's what I believe, and I wouldn't change it for anything. I see nothing wrong in showing more compassion for the opposite sex. I want to appear as a genuine catch and someone who will treat a woman right, no matter what.

reborn wrote on Thu, 11 February 2010 00:40


That's making a huge assumption, but lets say you're right. You're bending the arguement. In your scenario you just implied the hot headed guy was the guy that believed defending himself against a women is the hot headed one. Defending yourself doesn't mean you're hot headed.

What's to assume? Is a woman really going to want a confrontational man? I don't think that would be very typical. Being short tempered, the man would be more inclined to use violence as intimidation and control, and nobody wants that.

reborn wrote on Thu, 11 February 2010 00:40


You would prefer a women that when confronted with physical violence and was being beat in the face by a man, her reaction would be to stand there and explain her feelings? She should stand there and take the beating while she calmly tries to explain things? That's all well and good if you want a punch bag, but I would prefer my wife to not be hurt.
There is a time for action.

That's not what I meant at all. I am just saying that a woman would certainly not like a violent partner, neither would anyone else.


The road I cruise is a bitch now, baby.
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