Home » General Discussions » Heated Discussions and Debates » Don't bottle it up
| Don't bottle it up [message #322822] |
Tue, 18 March 2008 15:34  |
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Cee100
Messages: 25
Registered: December 2004
Location: belfast / uk
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I've come home from work this evening with a heavy heart, and before i go playing I wanted you to read this.
This evening my colleage at work had a policeman come see her about an email passed onto them from a virtual world site http://www.there.com/
stating that someone in her house used this site and passed an email on that was found by the "threat" team which stated that the sender was about to do something silly with his life!
Just recently in the UK news have been stories of suicides coming from such sites, but in this case it looks like the lad has issues about whats going on with him at the moment in his life and is saying to the addressee that thanks to him he's going to upset his family and friends as he "can't take it anymore".
My friend was very upset, initially the thought of paedophiles came to mind given the nature of the words virutal world until we read the email.
Her husband is a security guard in Iraq and is away for long spells and she is left to raise the kids of which there are 4 remaining in the house. They want for nothing except for a bit of freedom as all youngsters do and she was telling me that he was home recently completly blocked out of his head and he's 15!
All parents do worry for their kids particularly when they get to this age and it only takes that one drink too many or someone pushing a drug your way that could do a lot of permanent damage resulting in loss of life and a family made to pick up the pieces.
I let her go home early to get it sorted and I hope its easy to do.
The reason i'm sharing this with you is if any of you are young enough to relate to whats going on here, have problems yourselves and can't bring yourself to talk to your mum and dad, don't expect it to be solved in a bottle! Find a friend or family member, go to the doctor or talk to an online buddy you know, speak to me if you think it would help.
Sometimes problems you think are so big can be solved in an instant, don't hurt the ones that love you, they brought you into this world to do better than themselves.
xxx
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| Re: Don't bottle it up [message #322831 is a reply to message #322822] |
Tue, 18 March 2008 16:04  |
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Kytten9
Messages: 332
Registered: October 2003
Location: Manchester, England
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Some teenagers need a person to talk to...even just to whine...vent or rant at, it's a bitch when you wanna complain and your parents just won't let you let it out.....But some teenagers do have real issues and only a real professional can sort those issues....such as depression etc...I was diagnosed with clinical depression when I was 18 and I was told I'd had it for 18 months so since being 16, I had my personal reasons and was suicidal for a long time, just recently I have recovered from Post Natal Depression after the birth of my son and again those same familiar feelings of wanting to end my own life returned......Why I do not know but what I do know is why I never followed through on them:
When I was 15 my best friends father killed himself and she found him, I saw first hand how her family was ripped apart by this devastating and clearly selfish act, people commit suicide to escape the pain of their angst but do not once think of the heartache, angst and never ending sucking void they leave in the lives of their loved ones who are left with one question forever on their minds that will never be answered and that is: "WHY?"
He is right if you feel this way you should seek help, strong people ask for help when they need it, so be strong and ask or talk to someone!
You have a God given right to be stupid. Please do not abuse this right!
n00bstories renegade server mod.
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| Re: Don't bottle it up [message #322833 is a reply to message #322822] |
Tue, 18 March 2008 16:31 |
=HT=T-Bird
Messages: 712
Registered: June 2005
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Indeed...excellent point, and one that most people sadly ignore.  Psychologists aren't "shrinks", they are out there to help.
HTT-Bird (IRC)
HTTBird (WOL)
Proud HazTeam Lieutenant.
BlackIntel Coder & Moderator.
If you have trouble running BIATCH on your FDS, have some questions about a BIATCH message or log entry, or think that BIATCH spit out a false positive, PLEASE contact the BlackIntel coding team and avoid wasting the time of others.
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| Re: Don't bottle it up [message #322836 is a reply to message #322822] |
Tue, 18 March 2008 16:59 |
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Blazer
Messages: 3322
Registered: February 2003
Location: Phoenix, AZ
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General (3 Stars)
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Different people handle things different ways. Some people can have a bad day at work and go on a shooting spree, while others just chalk it up to a bad day at work, and know that tommorrow will be a better day.
Myself, I saw both of my parents die (seperate incidents), and although I will carrry a lifelong emotional scar, I didn't flip out or try to kill myself or hurt people, even though I had nobody to talk to.
Would it have been easier if I had someone to talk to? I don't know. I do know that at the time, you don't want to talk to anyone, and people trying to "help" just make you want to be left alone. I guess bottling it up always happens, it's how you release it that matters.
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| Re: Don't bottle it up [message #322841 is a reply to message #322836] |
Tue, 18 March 2008 17:36 |
_SSnipe_
Messages: 4121
Registered: May 2007
Location: Riverside Southern Califo...
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| Blazer wrote on Tue, 18 March 2008 16:59 |
Different people handle things different ways. Some people can have a bad day at work and go on a shooting spree, while others just chalk it up to a bad day at work, and know that tommorrow will be a better day.
Myself, I saw both of my parents die (seperate incidents), and although I will carrry a lifelong emotional scar, I didn't flip out or try to kill myself or hurt people, even though I had nobody to talk to.
Would it have been easier if I had someone to talk to? I don't know. I do know that at the time, you don't want to talk to anyone, and people trying to "help" just make you want to be left alone. I guess bottling it up always happens, it's how you release it that matters.
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strong man.......
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| Re: Don't bottle it up [message #322891 is a reply to message #322822] |
Wed, 19 March 2008 00:27 |
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Goztow
Messages: 9726
Registered: March 2005
Location: Belgium
Karma: 13
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General (5 Stars)
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It certainly helps to talk but not straight away. Such events first need time on your own. At least, that's how I experience it.
On a lighter note: there's hope for this forum.
You can find me in The KOSs2 (TK2) discord while I'm playing. Feel free to come and say hi! TK2 discord
[Updated on: Wed, 19 March 2008 00:28] Report message to a moderator |
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| Re: Don't bottle it up [message #323018 is a reply to message #322822] |
Wed, 19 March 2008 16:03 |
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Cee100
Messages: 25
Registered: December 2004
Location: belfast / uk
Karma: 0
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Renalpha,
My point is if events in your life mean you are thinking of taking your own talk to someone, I realise bad things happen as you go along and sometimes it doesn't mean what events are and what happened can be deemed less eventful to others.
I can see where you are coming from and I too would find myself deeply changed by such an event.
A point happened in my life that changed me from the kids I was at school with, it was the death of my nephew when he was just 13, a freak natural accident, he choked to death on his own vomit. I was just 16 myself and we had grown up together and were more a brother and sister relationship. It changed me, It didn't make me want to kill myself but its something that affected the whole family and nothing was the same after that.
His Mother changed and his sister went of the rails, this isn't that surprising I guess but I doubt the kind of councilling was available then like it is today.
When I had my son, I became scared the same thing would happen I would be very protective over him and still am, but would get the most vivid dreams of things bad happening to him, even daydreams that would be quite a shock. I still want him to outlive me and want to be a good Mum to him and hope i'm there for him if he needs me and doesn't feel that he has to hide stuff.
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| Re: Don't bottle it up [message #323022 is a reply to message #323018] |
Wed, 19 March 2008 16:29 |
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renalpha
Messages: 1000
Registered: January 2007
Location: Holland - Zuid-Holland - ...
Karma: 0
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General (1 Star) |
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| Cee100 wrote on Wed, 19 March 2008 17:03 |
Renalpha,
My point is if events in your life mean you are thinking of taking your own talk to someone, I realise bad things happen as you go along and sometimes it doesn't mean what events are and what happened can be deemed less eventful to others.
I can see where you are coming from and I too would find myself deeply changed by such an event.
A point happened in my life that changed me from the kids I was at school with, it was the death of my nephew when he was just 13, a freak natural accident, he choked to death on his own vomit. I was just 16 myself and we had grown up together and were more a brother and sister relationship. It changed me, It didn't make me want to kill myself but its something that affected the whole family and nothing was the same after that.
His Mother changed and his sister went of the rails, this isn't that surprising I guess but I doubt the kind of councilling was available then like it is today.
When I had my son, I became scared the same thing would happen I would be very protective over him and still am, but would get the most vivid dreams of things bad happening to him, even daydreams that would be quite a shock. I still want him to outlive me and want to be a good Mum to him and hope i'm there for him if he needs me and doesn't feel that he has to hide stuff.
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im very sorry about that for you.
but ye some events need to be discussed.
ive been talking to proffesionals a lot of times when i was young.
that didnt help me, now my mom wants me back talking to people cuz she doesnt like me wearing red flags.
she doesnt know nor believe me i dont commit crimes,
i dont steal
i dont set trip to people
the only thing i do is come up for my friends,
i would give my life for them and they would do the same thang to me.
we are one family, something i cannot get from my parents because they are not there for me.
i cant talk to them, so i talk to my friends and they understand me.
but some things i just cannot tell to my friends so i write lyrics and rap them and it makes me feel good.
| Aircraftkiller wrote on Fri, 18 February 2011 23:50 |
I figured some people will still go LOLOLOL STARVING CATS LOOOOLZ UR A FAG or some dumb shit like that. Thanks for not disappointing!
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| Re: Don't bottle it up [message #323683 is a reply to message #322822] |
Tue, 25 March 2008 01:39 |
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Dave Anderson
Messages: 1953
Registered: December 2004
Location: United States
Karma: 0
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General (1 Star) |
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I don't think you can really say that suicide is selfish or not. You can say that a person who commits suicide is selfish because they leave their loved ones in despair, but you can also say that it is the loved ones who are being selfish, because they would rather have the emotionally disturbed person stay alive and suffer. Some people truly (or seem that they) cannot be helped in anyway; their emotions are too strong and overwhelming for anything to have any effect. Its hard to say though, because each person is different, and no, we don't know how they feel. We can try to understand, but we aren't inside their minds, and we simply don't feel what they feel. It can be strongly argued either way.
David Anderson
Founder, Software Consultant
DCOM Productions
Microsoft Partner (MSP)
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| Re: Don't bottle it up [message #323716 is a reply to message #323683] |
Tue, 25 March 2008 12:38 |
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renalpha
Messages: 1000
Registered: January 2007
Location: Holland - Zuid-Holland - ...
Karma: 0
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General (1 Star) |
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| Dave Anderson wrote on Tue, 25 March 2008 02:39 |
I don't think you can really say that suicide is selfish or not. You can say that a person who commits suicide is selfish because they leave their loved ones in despair, but you can also say that it is the loved ones who are being selfish, because they would rather have the emotionally disturbed person stay alive and suffer. Some people truly (or seem that they) cannot be helped in anyway; their emotions are too strong and overwhelming for anything to have any effect. Its hard to say though, because each person is different, and no, we don't know how they feel. We can try to understand, but we aren't inside their minds, and we simply don't feel what they feel. It can be strongly argued either way.
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in my opinion it is selfish
its walking away from your problems to immature to confrontate them
you leave people behind, who love you even when you think you dont.
| Aircraftkiller wrote on Fri, 18 February 2011 23:50 |
I figured some people will still go LOLOLOL STARVING CATS LOOOOLZ UR A FAG or some dumb shit like that. Thanks for not disappointing!
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| Re: Don't bottle it up [message #323744 is a reply to message #322822] |
Tue, 25 March 2008 16:25 |
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Blazer
Messages: 3322
Registered: February 2003
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Karma: 0
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General (3 Stars)
Administrator/General |
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"Depression", "Dispair", etc are just states of mind. States of mind which you can decide to change, either by not concentrating on whatever is bothering you, or by just deciding to not let life get you down.
Suicide being a "shaft of light" is ridiculous. Only a weak minded fool would believe that the end of existence, (including all that entails-going to hell if you are religious, causing pain in the lives of those that care about you, etc) is the answer to a mental problem.
Ironically I say weak minded, yet a suicidal person somehow has the will to override the primary and most basic instinct that all life on earth has - to survive, and yet they can't use the same willpower to decide to stop being a whiny emo bitch and just move on, and realize that "nothing is very, very bad, or very, very good, for very, very long". Life sucks sometimes, its part of life. Have a good cry, punch a hole in the wall, whatever...but just keep reminding yourself that "tommorrow will be a better day", and eventually it will be.
Ending your life just because things atm suck is dumb...you are getting off the ride at the worst part...why not stick around for the good parts?
I've been closer to death (seeing people die) than most people, and have had some really shitty things happen to me and others that I care about, yet I survived, and was able to move on and find happiness further down the road.
TBH it makes me sick when I see "emo" kids who are contemplating suicide over some bullshit like some girl, crap at school, not liking their looks, or where their life is at that moment. To me they aren't much different than a spoiled kid whining because he didn't get an iPod touch for xmas, and "only a ps3". STFU and guess what...life isn't a bowl of cherries. Suck it up and say "fuck you" to shit that tries to put you down, and next thing you know things will be better...if you are thinking about killing yourself, they can't get any worse can they.
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| Re: Don't bottle it up [message #323842 is a reply to message #322822] |
Wed, 26 March 2008 07:43 |
KIRBY-098
Messages: 338
Registered: July 2006
Karma: 0
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Join the military.
You will have that whiny "poor me" mentally forcefully removed through your nostrils. You learn it is not about you or your things. It's about selfless integrity and duty to a higher purpose.
Best decision I ever made besides becoming a christian.
Excellent point though chuck, and well said. There is a definite dichotomy there.
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