| Someone just... [message #54775] |
Tue, 11 November 2003 10:40  |
flyingfox
Messages: 1612
Registered: February 2003
Location: scotland, uk
Karma: 0
|
General (1 Star) |
|
|
... post a joke or something. Forum is so dull lately. It we're not talking about the matrix it's about video cards, coding shit, dedicated servers (ooowow interesting) or how much people are proud to be American or newbies who don't know the proper rules of a forum etc. I mean zzzzzZzZzz........ anyone got anything to laugh at or find humorous?
I'll start off..
Three men who were lost in the forest were captured by
cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could
live if they pass a trial. The first step of the trial was to go
to the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So
all three men went separate ways to gather fruits.
The first one came back and said to the king, "I brought ten
apples." The king then explained the trial to him. "You have to
shove the fruits up your butt without any expression on your
face or you'll be eaten."
The first apple went in... but on the second one he winced out
in pain, so he was killed.
The second one arrived and showed the king ten berries. When the
king explained the trial to him he thought to himself that this
should be easy. 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8... and on the
ninth berry he burst out in laughter and was killed.
The first guy and the second guy met in heaven. The first one
asked, "Why did you laugh, you almost got away with it?" The
second one replied, "I couldn't help it, I saw the third guy
coming with pineapples."
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Someone just... [message #54804] |
Tue, 11 November 2003 14:56  |
|
|
Have fun...
Do you know what I'm doing now?
| Quote: |
A beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to a gynecologist. The doctor takes one look at this woman and all his professionalism goes out the window.
Right away he tells her to undress. After she has disrobed he begins to stroke her thigh. As he does this he says to the woman, "Do you know what I'm doing?"
"Yes," she says, "you're checking for any abrasions or dermatological abnormalities."
"That is right," says the doctor. He then begins to fondle her breasts. "Do you know what I'm doing now?" he says. "Yes," says the woman, "you're checking for any lumps or breast cancer."
"Correct," replies the doctor. He then begins to have sexual intercourse with the woman. He says to her, "Do you know what I'm doing now?"
"Yes," she says. "You're getting herpes."
|
Viagra and Pain Killers.
| Quote: |
So this older guy goes to the doctor asking for a prescription for 'Viagra'.
The guy asks for a large dose of the *strongest* variety.
The doctor asks why he needs so much.
The guy says that two young nymphomaniacs are spending a week at his place.
The doctor fills the prescription.
Later that week, the same guy goes back to the doctor asking for pain killers.
The doctor asks "Why, is your dick in that much pain?"
"No", says the guy, "it's for my wrists - the girls never showed up!"
|
Ten Dollars is Ten Dollars
| Quote: |
Stumpy and his wife Martha went to the state fair every year. Every year Stumpy would say, "Martha, I'd like to ride in that there airplane. And
every year Martha would say, "I know Stumpy, but that airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars." Stumpy said, "Martha, I am 70 years old. If I don't ride that airplane this year I may never get the chance."
Martha replied, "The ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars."
The pilot overheard them and said, "Folks, I'll make you a deal. I'll take you both up for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say one word, I won't charge you. But if you say one word it's ten dollars."
Stumpy and Martha agreed and up they went. The pilot does all kinds of stunts, but not a word is heard. He does all kind of twists and turns, rolls and dives. They land and the pilot said "By golly, I did everything I could think of to get you to talk.
Stumpy replied, "Well, I was gonna say something when Martha fell out, but ten dollars is ten dollars."
|
.:Red Alert: A Path Beyond Modeler:.
E-mail: sirphoenixx@gmail.com
AIM: Sir Phoenixx
ICQ: 339325768
MSN: sirphoenixx@hotmail.com
Yahoo: sirphoenix86
If anyone needs any help with using 3dsmax, or gmax feel free to contact me.
My Gallery: sir-phoenixx.deviantart.com/gallery
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Someone just... [message #54859] |
Wed, 12 November 2003 10:50 |
 |
DragonFg
Messages: 187
Registered: August 2003
Karma: 0
|
Recruit |
|
|
Some of you may have heard this one.....
Superman was flying around when he saw Wonder Woman lying nude on the beach soaking up the sun. And Superman thought to himself...
"Wow, damn! Hey I'm Superman I can go down and do my thing so fast she'll never know it was me!"
So Superman flew down and did his thing and flew back off again. Feeling pretty proud of himself he flew away.
An hour later all of the Justice League met at the hall of justice.....
Superman said,"How was everyones' day?"
Most of then said it was good.
The Invisible Man said, "I'm okay but my ass really hurts!"
"Behind every great man is a woman, and behind her is his wife."
|
|
|
|
| Someone just... [message #54885] |
Wed, 12 November 2003 14:25 |
|
|
| DragonFg |
Some of you may have heard this one.....
Superman was flying around when he saw Wonder Woman lying nude on the beach soaking up the sun. And Superman thought to himself...
"Wow, damn! Hey I'm Superman I can go down and do my thing so fast she'll never know it was me!"
So Superman flew down and did his thing and flew back off again. Feeling pretty proud of himself he flew away.
An hour later all of the Justice League met at the hall of justice.....
Superman said,"How was everyones' day?"
Most of then said it was good.
The Invisible Man said, "I'm okay but my ass really hurts!"
|
Lol... 
.:Red Alert: A Path Beyond Modeler:.
E-mail: sirphoenixx@gmail.com
AIM: Sir Phoenixx
ICQ: 339325768
MSN: sirphoenixx@hotmail.com
Yahoo: sirphoenix86
If anyone needs any help with using 3dsmax, or gmax feel free to contact me.
My Gallery: sir-phoenixx.deviantart.com/gallery
|
|
|
|
Search
Help
Members
Register
Login
Home
