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Know your enemy. [message #112764]

Fri, 03 September 2004 02:49

Javaxcx
Messages: 1943
Registered: February 2003
Location: Canada, eh?

Karma: 0

General (1 Star)

When you go to the polling booths, rather, if you're old enough to go to the polling booths on November 2nd, you have a choice. You have a choice between two radically different ideas that will run your country for another 4 years. Nowadays, people have labelled these two choices both "Republican" and "Democrat". But what exactly are these two ideas today?

*Democrats:*

You're a pessimist. You look at all the wrong done by the administration over the last 4 years, but none of the good.

You see jobs lost.

You see healthcare and insurance lost.

You see more poverty.

You're a realist to the freaking extreme.

You might like children.

Fine motor skills, like standing still and not wavering, are difficult abilities to understand.

You also like taxes! Lots and lots of taxes! Therefore, you are a girly-man.

You hate terrorists. You also hate solutions to get at the terrorists.

You can't spell Democrat without "Get Rich Quick Scheme".

You like the definition of "equality first".

You like the idea of free healthcare for all.

You like body armour. But you hate filling it with green.

You like gay people.

And at the end of the day, you're a communist. Oh, and by the way, you've left some of your wall on the ground at my European villa. You have 60 days to remove it, or I'll send you another complaint! Send one of your robots to get it, I don't care!

*But on the flipside, Republicans:*

You are an optimist. You look at all the good done by the administration over the last 4 years, and (often) dismiss the bad.

You see more jobs.

You see more, or at least the potential for more, healthcare, insurance, and so on.

You like children.

You hate hate hate taxes. Taxes are BAD. BAD!

Lots of the time, you're living in a fantasy world full of magic fairies and ponies, where you can do no wrong and everyone likes you.

You hate terrorists. You'll do anything, anything, ANYTHING to get terrorists. You'll step over your own mother to get terrorists. They are cocaine to you. You line terrorists up in a row and snort them up your nauseating nostrils.

"Univeral Liberty" is your goal. This principle must be applied everywhere, especially to places who don't want it.

You say you like gay people. But the truth is, you have unholy seances held every Tuesday against the gay people. There is free coffee.

You live in a bubble. A platistic, airtight, translucent bubble. This bubble has ICBMs in it, so you're not too worried.

At the end of the day, you're a closet fascist. Now go tell Mrs. Mussolini to wait up and keep the bed warm, because you'll be home before 1943!

So there you have it, two parties, two ideologies. Know your enemy, and make the right choice.

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